ROME—Unearthing the earliest known instance of fans being completely fleeced, archeologists from the University of Milan announced Tuesday that they had discovered a buried concession stand at the colosseum that gouged ancient Romans 10 denarii for a small clay cup of wine. “There were prices well beyond what your average Roman would pay at the market, which shows just how advanced the empire was when it came to wringing their people dry,” said Professor Lambrugo Frederico, adding that the excavation team found the remnants of etched warning signs saying no outside food or beverage was allowed in the Colosseum. “Our preliminary findings of the lower levels under the Colosseum show that not only did these stands charge an arm and a leg for some cheap swill wine, they also had the gall to think people would pay upwards of 20 denarii for some mediocre snails or a little bag of olives. It’s an amazing insight into what greedy bastards the ancient Romans were.” Federico added that while the Romans were just starting to discover the power of concession gouging they were actually far more advanced than modern stadiums in the sanitation of bathrooms.
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