DALLAS—Noting how the monument, with its outsized dimensions, absolutely dwarfed everything around it, sources reported Monday that an enormous headstone spotted at Forest Lawn Cemetery must mark the grave of a person whose immediate survivors felt overjoyed by their death. “Wow, you can tell a lot of money went into that—I guess the family really had something to celebrate,” said local woman Robin Elmore, who lingered for a moment to read the name on the headstone, surmising that the statues atop it represented the jubilant relatives grateful to have outlived the despised individual who lay dead beneath their feet. “The day they laid that person to rest must have been the best day of their lives. Why else would they have erected such a prominent structure to mark the occasion? Good riddance, I guess.” At press time, sources reported that a man seen vandalizing the grave with spray paint must have loved the deceased and wanted to deface the monument praising their death.
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